Thursday, May 2nd - A Consideration of Dark Anime Angels
It's easy to look at the things you enjoyed when you were young and had little context for what could make a work good with disdain, relegating it to the basement of things that definitely affected you in the current day, but you'd rather not think about to heavily, for the sake of your own current psyche. And while in many cases this is fine--the media you interact with when you're younger can sometimes fall incredibly short once you've aged and have had more chances to experience new media--I think it can at times do a disservice to your younger self to look at this in such a negative way. So instead I want to focus on how what I grew up with has shaped me in an impactful, beautiful way. I think in the end it will be more beneficial to my current understanding of myself and my interests.
How am I going to do this? Well, I'm going to talk about the edgy anime angels, of course.
I think everyone who has been on the internet knows what I'm talking about, but I'll show off some of my personal favorite examples still, just so we are all on the same page. I did my best to hunt down their artists, but if one is wrong and you know who drew it, feel free to send me an email and let me know and I'll be happy to fix it.
Dark Angel Anime by draconianstefany on deviantart
14675-anime-dark-angel-boy-lilzeu-tattoo-de by Dark-Angel70 on deviantart
These dark angel characters were just so formative to me in ways that are hard to explain, but I will try to summarize how they have impacted my life in the 11 years that have passed since I first encountered them.
This isn't to say that their merit is entirely based on my enjoyment of them because of nostalgia or how they shaped me. Rather, I think a lot of these are beautiful pieces of artwork from a bygone era, one represented with edgy anime girls with moe eyes and sped up versions of Set If Off songs. Often, they were created by young artists, and my ability to connect so deeply with them was because I too was a young kid searching for some kind of expression to how scary growing up was.
I've definitely heard many people say that it's funny how into emo music they were as small children, because they hadn't really experienced anything actually bad up until that point. I do not find this to be true, personally. I had been bullied for being weird (see: autistic) for my entire childhood, and started puberty at a very young age. It was not a fun time, my body was going through changes that while I had been taught about, were a sort of horror that I don't think is easily expressed, even if you aren't transgender. More than that, growing up with very little restriction on my internet access meant that I had been exposed to a manner of things I simply could not comprehend or understand. To be frank, a 10-year-old is experiencing something actually bad if they stumble across a snuff film from misclicking while trying to read Naruto through a free manga website. Sure, I was not exposed to the horrors of war or having a manipulative or abusive lover, but I had been going through issues of my own all the same.
Because of that, these angels held something very powerful to me. They were beautiful, and often very young, and their ethereal nature felt personal. They were something that had been beautiful and good, but had been changed irrevocably by something else. There's this idea that even though they have fallen, or are now dark, or evil, or fucking whatever you want to call it, they held this sort of power because they were, after all, still angels.
This isn't to say that I was thinking that at the time. I was 10, frankly I don't know if I was thinking much at all aside from how cool I thought Warrior Cats was. I am just looking at these drawings now with a hindsight of so many years that gives me an appreciation for them in a new light. Truth be told, I mostly just wanted an excuse to show my love for these angels, because for a good number of years I cringed at the thought of them. Now though, I just think they are fun. I enjoy them in part because they are just so formative to how I am now. I love them so much they're so awesome. Everyone should draw one edgy anime angel in their life as a form of catharsis, I think that would be my takeaway from this. They are so representative of a time bygone to us now, and I think bringing them back could do us a world of good.
Hello everyone. Another long time with a lot of radio silence. It's never intentional, life just keeps getting busy so all my work on the site ends up being minimal things or making it look better or more functional. As you can probably tell, I have recently rethemed the place to suit my current interests and fixations. Though it's not perfect, I definitely felt like the site needed the change. There is not a lot to talk about currently, but seeing as my last update was last year, and also almost 5 months ago, I think it would be best to start with a life update.
To start, I was able to find a job at a used video game store. The place is very fun, and I enjoy working there. Though it had been stressful and chaotic at first (in large part due to a terrible store manager, but that isn't a story for here) I think I've found a flow within the store now. My coworkers are nice and I get along with them. I find myself struggling at times with the new systems being put in place, but not enough for it to be a large deal. Working there is nice though, I've managed to finally get ahold of some stuff I'd been really wanting (like a box set of Samurai Champloo). Our customers tend to be pretty cool as well, barring they don't make weird comments or passes towards me. It's only happened once or twice, though, so definitely not enough to make me feel particularly worried. Overall, I enjoy working there.
It feels a bit like a moot point to talk about my school stuff when the semester ends next Thursday, so instead I'll just make the promise to hopefully have my art page back up soon (once I've found a way to display everything well) and scan in all the photography work I've done. I don't think everything is my best work, but overall I'm happy with what I've done. I definitely have some stuff that turned out exactly how I wanted, however, so that is exciting. My drawing class makes me slightly miserable, but my final project is a collage that I'm hoping turns out quite well!
Other than that, I've mostly been doing the same old stuff. I finished reading through House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski and will likely write a review of it once I've reread it. Overall though it's definitely a recommended read, and there's plenty of videos and other people who can tell you why you should read it in the interim. I also reread all of Yu Yu Hakusho by Yoshihiro Togashi and remembered how endeared to the characters and world I am, so I may write something about it as well. Kurama, my beloved Kurama. Other than that, I have only watched Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series with a friend. I have not really had the time to play any new games, but I am hoping that changes over the summer. We will see though, it depends on how much I work and how much time I instead spend outside taking pictures.
I can't think of much else to report now! I am hoping (hoping) to have some sort of review of something by mid-May, but please don't hold me to that. Thanks for reading!