Wednesday, October 1st - Cass' Guide to Halloween
Happy Halloween month! Halloween is one of the best and only good thing to come out of the Secular United States, and I wanted to do something fun to celebrate the occasion. While much like the Ministry song proposes, to me, every day IS Halloween, I still find myself wanting to share what a good month of October will look like for me, this year! The media page will also be updated to reflect the spooky time of the year :).
First, of course, is the costume. I haven't officially decided yet, because I couldn't remember what day Halloween fell on, so I wasn't sure if I'd have to work (it's a Friday, this year, so thankfully there is nothing for me to worry about!). With the knowledge that I will have the day off, I instead have to think about what I'd be comofortable wearing in front of a friend's grandmother. LOL.
That's right! I will not be spending this Halloween relatively alone in my room ^-^! This Halloween will be spent handing out candy with 3 of my friends at one of their grandparent's houses! I'm relatively excited, mostly because we don't all get to hang out super frequently, so it will be nice to have the gang all together, so to speak. I really enjoy handing out candy, since I feel like I'm unfortunately at the age where it's finally considered complete social taboo to actually go trick-or-treating. I'm living vicariously through all the kids dressing up as Skibidi Fortnites or whatever the youths these days enjoy (JOKE. JOKING.). My own personal Halloween costume plans sit in a couple camps, I'm considering either something fun and easy (goth witch a-la The Craft) or something that will give me Dopamine (Narancia from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure). One will be easy and I won't suffer embarrassment about it if someone recognizes me, and the other would cause a mortification not previously known to mankind if someone recognizes me. Still working on that whole "unlearning shame regarding my special interests" thing, I fear.
But! I digress! Let's get into some spooky stuff to celebrate the month :)!
Halloween Video Games!
Halloween Movies!
Halloween Books!
Halloween Comics!
Halloween Anime and Manga!
Halloween Albums!
Ultimately though, to me, Halloween is a state of mind. I just love that the way I dress, act, and look, as well as the things I like, are seen as "normal" during the month of October. Ok that's all for now yay.
Monday, September 22nd - Life Update
Yeesh! I didn't realize how long it's been since my last update! T'was not intentional, life just got CRAZY. Good crazy, though. I think.
I moved into a new apartment, so I'm no longer dealing with annoying evil roommates that I hate! Instead, it's just my friend, and he's pretty chill. He sits on my floor sometimes and yaps about cars or biking or fashion and it's very fun and enjoyable. Overall, it's nice living with him, especially because I feel way less judged for having my stuff outside of my space. Also, sometimes I don't have to cook dinner. Very large weight off my shoulders, some days. The window to my room is open after a fresh rain, so the bugs outside are loud and my room smells like rain. It's pleasant.
Classes also started back up! Oh my GOD does that make me busy! I am SO BUSY!!!!!! It's worth it though. One of my classes is really dumb, but the rest are all really fun. Everything is project based, though, so I have a lot of stuff that has deadlines that are like... weeks out. Not good for a guy prone to sitting and procrastinating. Oh well. Using 4x5 view cameras is really fun. I don't want to get too off-topic and rant about it right now. Just know that they are REALLY cool. I like using them a lot :).
Other than that ummm... I'm all caught up on Jojo's, I've been spending time with my friends.... I'm really excited for Halloween... The Usual, as it were.
The other thing of note is that I went to see Vision Video AGAIN in concert (my 3rd time seeing them! Kinda crazy how many of their concerts I've been to...). It was my friend's first concert, and I'm glad he had a good time. He had a lot of fun and it was overall a very good romp. Four bands played at the venue, one is a local band called Amaranth, and then Treasvre and Panic Priest played, followed finally by Vision Video.
Amaranth as a band was good, if not suuuuper my thing. The style reminded me mostly of The 69 Eyes, which is pretty cool and unique. They did a cover of a Tom Petty song I am not really familiar with, lol. Admittedly, though, I spent a good 90% of their set oggling the bassist. I believe his name is Collin? Really nice dude. He gave me the kind of gay crisis only a bassist with long hair can give a man, truly wonderful experience. After their set the bassist was going around dancing with people and when he briefly danced next to me I felt so flustered I thought I was going to die. I'm not usually particularly attracted to artists outside of the passing "wow they're really hot", and I certainly cannot recall the last time I ever felt flustered in that way around anyone other than like. My boyfriend. Had a little fanfiction moment and texted my friend something along the lines of "I can no longer make fun of sold to One Direction fics now". Pretty awesome. Ok love letter to some random bassist living in the same state as me over.
Treasvre was the band I was most excited to see (largely because I had already seen Vision Video twice prior) and they did NOT disappoint! Their stage presence was unmatched, with both of the singers having wonderful chemistry and the whole band interacting with each other. They seemed to be having lots of fun on stage and that's always a huge bonus. I got a long-sleeve t-shirt for their newest album, and one of the singers/bassists complimented my earrings and jewelry :)! A fun time! I'm excited for their new album, what they played at the show was awesome. They did a cover of David Bowie's I'm Afraid of Americans and if they don't release a studio version of the cover I'm going to be so sad because it was so good.
Panic Priest was really good! For being one guy, he had a pretty spectacular stage presence. I don't have much to say other than you should listen to Panic Priest. He's from Chicago, which I didn't know! Pretty cool stuff! I really like his stuff, and I really recommend it if you want to support a smaller goth artist. Lots of good sounds. Who knew a guy breathing into the mic could be so... musical (everyone knew this. It was still fun)
I have honestly... not much to say about Vision Video? It's my 3rd time seeing them. It was just a good time. They did a cover of a Comstock Angels song, which was pretty cool. I know he says similar stuff every concert, but this time I really appreciated Dusty talking about his struggles with mental health and how these things aren't linear. I've been dealing with some stuff not worth getting into recently, and it was nice to hear someone I respect talk in concrete terms about how there are going to be good and bad days.
It was a good show overall! In November the same friend that went with me to this is going to go to French Police and Lebanon Hanover with me, and I am SOOOOOOO EXCITED about those. Especially Lebanon Hanover, my god. Shows that may change my life. Yay!
Friday, June 27th - The Jewish Vampire and Reclaiming What Should Hurt
Something I always struggled with consuming vampire was how deeply rooted in anti-everything it is. As is the case with most monster media, it is reflectiver of fears of a group of people at any given time, and this leads towards certain premises becoming popular while rooted in bigotry. Vampire media is no exception, and it never has been. While one could take the vampire as anti-monarchical, it is unfortunately more than that. The vampire is rooted in anti-Eastern European, anti-Romani, and anti-semitic tropes that go back for ages. For more information on it's anti-Eastern European and anti-Romani tropes, I recommend doing your own research. I don't feel like I have the bredth of experience to cover these myself, as I am neither Romani nor Eastern European.
What I can talk about, though, is anti-semitism. And vampires. I can talk about both forever, unfortunately. My love for the vampire is... complicated, to say the least. Vampires are everything to me, they always have been. Some of my earliest memories of grade school is telling my peers with 100% certainty that I absolutely was a vampire, and them believing me. It morphed as I got older, forgotten for a while only to strike with a ressurgance as I hit my late teens. There was comfort in falling back to the vampire trope. After some of the horrible things that happened to me, it felt like a justification to retreat into the world of vampires and fantasy, that making myself out to be a monster would protect me. Maybe it did. There is no denying that this is a common occurance for people in minority groups, to want to see themselves in the monsterous. Maybe this is part of the allure of vampires, that as a gay transsexual I could relish in the perverse and it would be the least of people's concerns about me. I couldn't help but feel like there was more to it, however.
Why do I seek solace in that of the vampire?
It's easy to point to the blood libel and go "look! The vampire trope! It's the generational trauma!" and perhaps this is true. But it does not answer the question enough to sate me. Why do I seek solace in the vampire? Why is there comfort in the grotesque? Why do I feel at home in the perverse? Why, if the vampire was made to hurt me, do I feel such a deep kinship with it?
I think the answer stems from a place of freedom. If what is expected of me, the gay Jew, is the blood in the matzoh, why pretend it isn't? Why do I have to make myself nice, make myself palatable, when I will never be seen that way? I don't have it in me to feign who I am for the secular cultural Christian, and there feels a sense of freedom in claiming that.
If the vampire is the dirty homosexual Jew, that is what I want to be. I want to disgust, in hopes that I may be left alone. If I am to be unfairly judged, I may as well make a show of it. If I am to be the dirty homosexual Jew, it will be on my own terms, in my own way. I will be the vampire, in whatever way that may mean. I am not taking the vampire to remove it of its history or context. Some things are too baked into the foundation of the concept to be removed. But for me, that is part of the joy, of the freedom. I cannot ever be free from what is happening, but I can choose what terms these things happen on. I love the vampire, though the vampire may have been made to harm me.
Monday, June 16th - Unsure What To Call This One
I had a kind of... horrifying realization about things just out of the blue and I just need to write it out to get my thoughts in order, because honestly I feel like my perspective has kinda shattered. LMAO. Normal style.
I was talking with a friend of mine irl today about what we were doing for his birthday and it hit me that I just... didn't do anything for my birthday this year. Or my birthday last year. Or when I turned 18. I've like... barely celebrated. I've barely celebrated anything, to be honest. I didn't have a graduation party, or big birthday parties with my friends, or even just fun mundane stuff. I just... haven't. I didn't even really celebrate my college acceptance, my family just went out to dinner. It's kinda weird how it bothers me and it doesn't at the same time.
It doesn't bother me because I just... don't like being the center of attention. Celebrating myself feels weirdly selfish and self-aggrandizing, and even when that isn't the case it still Feels like it is. It's probably something to do with my anxiety or something, but I don't know. It does bother me though, in the sense that I feel like I should want to celebrate. Am I missing out by not having these parties? Is it missing out that I don't want to deal with it all? Is this just another form of depression that has snuck its way into my life, more sinister than usual, taking away my relationships with the people I love because I just hate large group activity? Am I isolating myself by doing all of this?
It raises a lot of questions, and I don't know if I am able to confront them all. I know birthdays stop being special once you aren't a kid, but I feel like I should be giving them more weight than I do. Will I want to celebrate my graduation from college? What about other life events? Would I want to celebrate owning a home? Is it okay if I don't want to? Is it okay if the idea of parties and big celebrations and being the center of attention makes me feel like I need to crawl out of my skin and staple it to the wall? Is all of this okay? Am I normal for this? Is this some social thing I just don't get yet again?
Thinking about it all makes my head hurt. It's not that I don't like spending time with my friends, it's just that I dread being at the center of it. Other people's parties are fine. I love going out for lunch or dinner with friends. I love to just shoot the shit. But when I'm the center of it all? I feel like the world is ending and I'm the cause. It's very odd. I feel like reasonably it's likely because I am just someone who has a lot of anxiety and doesn't handle large groups well, but at the same time... is it? Is this just another form of depression? I don't know! I'm definitely overthinking it. I just don't really feel like it's worth celebrating stuff that has to do with me, mostly.
I like celebrating my art stuff, though. It feels different. I'm not the center of attention, my art is. Maybe I'll celebrate my first gallery exhibition or something. Is that acceptable? That feels like a normal thing to celebrate. It feels like something worthwhile, more so than me aging more or having finished suffering the United States education system. The world is very strange and weird, and sometimes I simply feel like I just don't navigate it right what so ever. This one is especially strange though, to me.
I feel like I should like celebrating myself more lol. Whatever I suppose! Live, laugh, love or whatever other horribly corporatized statement you want to put in here.
Sunday, June 1st - Goth Night Adventure and My Thoughts On Clothing
Last night I went with a friend to a goth night and it was very exciting. While I'd been to plenty of concerts and other events, a proper goth night at a venue wasn't something I'd been able to experience yet, since I was always either busy or they were 21+ venues. For it being my first one, I instantly had a great time. I think being with a friend and it being at the same venue I saw Vision Video at helped a lot. It was a great time though! The crowd was super cool and there was a good energy. A pit formed at some point and I watched a guy do the worm to Depeche Mode so that was... interesting? At Least?
I really enjoyed it though, there's something really enjoyable about going somewhere and dancing with a bunch of people who like the same music and look like you and feeling Boy Harsher being beamed directly into your brain stem and your pussy. 10/10 experience. There were some songs I hadn't heard before and I think I'm going to try and see if I can contact the DJ and ask for a tracklist but also that's so scary. Is that even allowed. Am I going to be shot like Old Yeller for doing this? I just want good tunes and there were lots and lots of good tunes.
It also reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend of mine literally like... 2 days ago? Maybe 3? About how baffled we are about people's ability to just... not care about what they are wearing. I didn't see too much of it at the concert, thankfully, but it's so weird to know that I put in a lot of effort to make an outfit work, even if it's something simple, and I'll end up walking with and talking to people who buy like... the shittiest quality fast fashion pants you've ever seen. It's just like... weird to me. And I know what it's like to not be able to afford stuff, but like half my accessories were. Aquired. And then put on my shirts and jackets with safety pins and a prayer, and if you can't do something there's probably someone close by who can. It's just... weird to me. I spent a lot of time yesterday on my look and presentation and it felt weird to be next to people who wore. A Slipknot shirt? I don't know. It just feels odd
I know there's a lot of societal problems that make this worse too but... I don't know. Maybe some people just don't have the gumption to be 16 years old and hand-sewing darts into thrifted Calvin Klein blazers. I wouldn't really know, with my very odd chest proportions I have to tailor basically every fitted garment I own. I don't know if my fashion hobby has made me pretentious or what, but I don't know if it is, considering I own plenty of clothes that I just throw on. I just hate knowing so many people are wearing clothes that they hate because they just don't really consider what they wear. Like guys!!! Guys please!!!!! Idk. Maybe I will write more on this but for now that's all I have to say. I posted a picture of my awesome outfit to go along with it so I hope everyone reading this gives me compliments in their mind. Yippee.
Tuesday, April 29th - A Collection of Passing Thoughts On Spring/Summer
With the advent of spring and closeness of sunmmer I find myself falling into similar routines I always have. I enjoy the idea of summer, I love the idea of days in the sun going for bike rides or picnics with friends or what have you, but realistically I know that I will be doing... very little. I talk a big game of how after I get back from visiting my family I'll spend time in my friends garden and go on bike rides and museum visits and day trips to Chicago and Detroit and all these other things but like... I am actually very bad at doing all of this. I am outright terrible at making plans and the only reason I'm able to with the people I know back home is because I've known them since high school (or earlier). I mean this with no disrespect to the friends I have made here, but they are so busy that it's hard to feel like I could ever ask for their time. I will. I know I'm going to a botanical garden with one and an art musuem with a few of them and I might be able to convince a few of some aquarium or museum trips.
Maybe this year will be better though. I'm going home for a few weeks, my family is coming here for a week, I'll visit my boyfriend at least once. Maybe we will be going to Myrtle Beach. Maybe we won't. Unsure yet. Summer just puts me in a weird mood.
I will do my best though. I have my playlist of summer-y goth music, bought some perfumes that put me in mind of late summer/early fall, bought some cute shorts and some cute skirts. I think it would be nice to create a sort of outfit lookbook for myself on here... I wear lots of cute outfits and I desire validation for them, and this will feel much more personal than any sort of online validation I'd get through social media. I have so many plans for things I want to include on this website. I should really update the goals page of my homepage. I'll do that when I'm done here. Lol.
The art page will be the first and foremost thing to go up though... thinking I might get a supporter tier so I can have a second website dedicated solely to my photography that doesn't link back here (but the website will link to my photography page). Just to keep up some "professional" air to my portfolio website. Means I also have to get back to posting photos on social media. That won't be too bad though, I think if I use it exclusively on my desktop and only for an hour or so a day I should be okay. Time limits and all. But I'll also display my other art on here like digital art even though I haven't drawn anything for real in like... a month. Printmaking stuff for my summer class will be going on there though, and maybe collage work if I feel like it. Buttons and patches. Embroidery. Many avenues.
Thank God classes are almost over, I have one more critique today and then another one tomorrow (though I already went so I am not actually doing anything) and then I'm free and I'll be making my way back home May 1st to see my family and friends for a few weeks (and hopefully this means I will finally finish Dragon Ball Daima. Lol).
Other than that the only thing that's been going on lately is I've been getting really into wood furniture. I just desire things that last longer and a wood chair from the 50s that just needs restained will last me forever. Decorating has just become a sort of escape for me anymore, but its hard because so much of my stuff is out in the open. I really need new furniture so I'm hoping that when I move I can pawn off a bunch of what I have and use that money to buy furniture off facebook marketplace and such. There's a desk I'm looking at getting right now that is a little smaller but has drawers and that seems nice. I'll just need to get a stand for my desktop (thing I need to do anyway since it doesn't fit on the one it's on. lol). Please pray for me finding a rental place is actually a nightmare LOL
Friday, April 25th - Dissecting Gender Like A Biology Class Frog
I don't really ever discuss my gender with people or to people. They get my name and if they ask I'll throw a pronoun their way but otherwise I realize I'm... very private aboout it? Which is something that I feel has made me feel distant and disconnected from the trans community as a whole. Not only do I not really feel like I fit into the clean cherry-picked norms of what a transgender person is, much less a transman is, I just don't seem to have the same loud pride as others do. Being trans is something I am, sure, but it's only ever something that comes up around trans friends.
I don't feel like just "transman" is actually very descriptive either. Every person on the plane texperiences gender and sexualikty in thousands of different subtle ways and to put myself into one catch-all term kinda pisses me off. I don't really agree with the whole "I would describe myself as a ocean breeze on a stormy night" type gender descriptions either. Perhaps this is because of my religious affiliation and beliefs, but it feels so hard for me to categorize something that I have divinely crafted with my own hands into the shape of me. I am a full breadth of human experience, and to limit myself to basic speech feels near-impossible.
Recently I was having this conversation with my boyfriend, and I described it as simply... not thinking of myself in that way. I don't consider myself a "man", much less transgender when thinking of myself and who I am. I'm an artist, an absurdist, maybe a poet. I never think of myself in terms I use to create labels for others to understand. There is no divine feminine or masculine and yet there is, I am both Adam and Eve and nothing at all. The entire universe has shaped who I am and in turn I shall shape it.
Maybe I have just been thinking of this a lot lately since I've been feeling much more... comfortable? With myself in the last year or so. I have tattoos and facial piercings and short hair and I wear blouses and skirts and slacks and blazers and some days I feel more like Pinhead from Hellraiser and other days I feel more like Elvira. In all of this experience I still consider myself a man, before anyone tries to tell me to look into gender fluidity or bigender or anything else. I will always just describe myself as a man because it is the most conveniently fitting. My point is that I think these things have made me more "Me" so to speak. I talk frequently to peers and to other religious folk about how I view the ability to create art as a divine act, not in that I think I am as powerful as the divine, but that It too gave me the power to sculpt things with my hands as It did to all things (I feel also the need to clarify here when I talk about religion it's because I'm Jewish. That's not really listed anywhere on my site but it is an important facet to my life so I should mention that here I think. Anyway). I think that my experience of gender is too a divine act of creation that I am actively building now.
Basically, I am a man but I'm also not a man because I'm not anything in an abusrdist way but I also am more than a man because I said I am. Everything is fake and nothing matters so by god I'm going to do whatever I want and nobody else has to like it but I'm still going to do it.
Monday, March 16th - Distancing Myself From Apps
For those of you who are perhaps new here, or just didn't know, sometime last year I quit using social media. It was largely for my mental and emotional health (it turns out looking at nothing but ads and people dying on the news every day is bad for your wellbeing), but also for the sake of my time. Endless scrolling without actually absorbing anything is just not a good use of time, but nonetheless one that we all find ourselves prey to. I still have issues with mindless Tumblr scrolling, and part of me thinks that the only thing that will stop this is borderline deactivating my account, though I would feel bad doing so when I know so many people still reblog my Final Fantasy art. I think I need to ask someone to change the passwords to them and not tell me what they are, or something. Perhaps a task to give to my boyfriend. Unsure.
Well, regardless, I have felt a move to do the same with apps on my phone in general. This is mostly because the apk I was using for Spotify Premium stopped working entirely, and I just did not feel like waiting for it to get fixed. So, instead I did what any regular normal person would do, and bought a Sony Walkman NW-A45 to use for music instead. It's basically just a glorified ipod, but I find it endearing and I like it. But... this leads me to wonder about other apps. What stuff can I just use in a browser? What stuff do I not even use? It's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am freed from the shoulders of phone applications. All I need is Mozilla Firefox and Pokemon Pocket TCG and I am content. And Google Maps. That also serves me well.
However, I am aware that buying a Walkman, even second hand, is a little silly. I do indeed have a phone with me at all times, and I could have just as easily put the music onto my phone. The allure of a shiny new piece of technology always sits present in my mind, and even if I bought this secondhand, it's new to Me. I need to make sure I don't use THIS to try and justify a kindle or something, especially when I have an Ipad I could use just as easily. Anyway, long story short, I really like my new walkman. It's serving me well even if it's sortof a paint to get all my music from my playlists to it has been a pain. It's fun! I like it!
Tuesday, February 4th - Talking About Cameras (And Art)
In between my photography classes where I'm using "real" cameras (the Nikon D850 and the Minolta SRT101 to be exact) (which... I need new batteries for the Minolta. WEEPS) I've become increasingly enamoured with... just kind of using weird piece of shit cameras. I got ahold of a Canon PowerShot SX130 IS and it is... not good. It doesn't handle low light well, its color range is kind of ugly, and it just... has really weird colors? I don't know what it is with the Canon DigiCams but their color range does NOT work on their digicams. But... I kind of love it.
I'm not looking for the best digicam, or one that I can use "seriously" for my art. I want something that's kind of normal and kind of shit. Becuse I like when things make you uncomfortable like that.
That discomfort has actually become a really common theme of my work. I want to create art that makes people uncomfortable, I think. Not in the sense that I'm showing... gore? But in the sense that it makes you feel uneasy. Why is someone zooming into the corner of a house? Why is someone taking pictures of people's house windows? Why is this picture just the holes in some concrete? Stuff like that.
This digicam is the first step in a LONG line of different cameras I'd like to get. There are some that use floppy discs, 110 cameras, a modded Gameboy camera... circuit bending. The options are kind of endless in terms of things to do that with.
That isn't to say I've been neglecting my school work! Just... using it to fit my needs. My photo professor is very willing to let us just run with concepts, so that's what I'm doing! My two photography courses are Color Photo (a color film course) and Lighting for Photography (an introduction to studios and on location lighting)! Both have been very fun! I don't really like shooting in a studio, but I'm making it interesting for myself!
This is a short little update, I just wanted to talk about my cameras!!! I love them a lot they bring me joy :)! Hopefully I'll have my photography portfolio up and running for you all to look at! When it's up everything will be scaled to a 72DPI resolution on a seperate website dedicated solely to photography that won't link back, but you will be able to access it here! Getting my professional photography stuff set up is the next big step for web stuff, at least!
Tuesday, January 7th - Happy new year!!
Happy New Year for those who use the Gregorian Calendar! The New Year is now upon us and this means that with it comes a blog update as well as some resolutions and life updates! 2024 was a year of extreme highs and extreme lows for me, so here's to hoping 2025 ends up being better than that.
I want to start with some website goals as I feel that's the most pertinent to this website! While I have a to-do list, it needs revamped, and I feel like I need to set up more concrete goals for myself! So lets start with that!
1.) Revamp some of my site.
2.) Get an external hard drive to keep backups of my website + the images and fonts used
3.) Make the page dedicated to art.. upload everything at 72ppi to save space until a bettter alternative is reached
4.) Create a photography page. This will be seperate from the website, but a link will be available from my website. It will not link back.
5.) Work on the Gundam Shrine. So many more pages need to be done. Infinite number of pages. It's more of a side project for when I have time to kill, but I could be doing way better. lol.
6.) A backlog page. Not to have a list of my current backlog, but so I can update my progress on what games, movies, shows, and books I've interacted with. Also a place where I could more easily allow myself to write reviews
7.) Sitemap. I need to do this before the website has too many fucking pages and it ends up being a god damn nightmare to navigate. Might have a seperate sitemap for the Gundam Shrine as well
8.) Dragon Ball Shrine. For funsies. I like Dragon Ball. This kindof hinges on if the hyperfixation hits me, though.
9.) Continue progress on the House of Leaves Shrine
Now for my own personal New Years resolutions! I don't take much stock in starting them at the start of the year, but I want to try and do that while I have a little bit of energy!
1.) Work through more of my backlog. This won't be easy since I will end up very busy with school, but I'm hoping I will have the energy and time to at least play a few more games this year, read a few more books, and watch a few more movies. I'm off to a good start this year with my manga backlog, but let's hope I can keep it up. My backlog also includes things I will be replaying/rereading/rewatching, just for my own peace of mind. its my list of resolutions i do what I want.
2.) Completely halt my social media use. Though I stopped posting, I was still doomscrolling tumblr. I want to instead devote that time to something else, so I got an rss feed.
3.) Generally use my phone less for unproductive things. I downloaded an rss feed on my phone (+ have one on my computer) so I'm still mostly aware of the news and things happening without my friends. I also installed a phone app that allows me to restrict the amount of time I'm allowed on certain apps and this has also been doing wonders so far.
4.) I want to get better about my eating habits. It's not that I'm not eating, it's that I am too reliant on getting food from like... taco bell. And I would like to instead work on making my own meals and finding things I like. It doesn't have to be healthy, I just want something I have cooked. Less money going towards like.... mediocre fast food and more towards like. Yummy home made jerk fries.
5.) I want to be better about my hygiene. Unfortunately, I have the ADHD curse and am terrible at building habits and sticking to schedules. I want to be better about brushing my teeth and also taking care of my skin. Thankfully I have the haircare down, I think I just need to incorporate those both into my shower routine and it will save me some trouble.
And last but not least, the fun stuff! This should be a short life update, not much has REALLY happened. Just some general stuff, lol.
For starters, I quit that job that I was complaining about! My manager made me super super miserable, like she genuinely was just mean and kindof scummy to me and made me feel like a really useless employee, so I'd rather move on to a company where I am more appreciated and valued. Also I was only getting maybe 2 shifts a week, and that is NOT rent paying hours. So I'm hopefully moving on to better things.
Christmas recently happened, and my gifts this year were awesomsies! For context to people on how my family does things, there's like... 4 categories of thing we get. The first is the "Santa" gifts which is usually like socks, knick-knacks, and small little fun things. Nothing serious, just things that are fun or made someone think of someone else. Then for the main gifts, everyone gets... more or less 3 things: a book, something handmade, and one to three things we had on a Christmas list (cost depending). This year my main gifts were awesome :) I just want an excuse to talk about them, lol. The book was the Barnes and Noble special edition of Jurassic Park, and the handmade thing was some tote bags my mom made that have pockets, and will likely replace my backpack for school and get used instead (THEYRE SOOOO CUTE. I CANT BE BLAMED. AND MY MAMA MADE IT FOR ME :D I LOVE MY MAMA). The final gift this year was... A SEWING MACHINE :D. its a Janome MOD-15 and it's my baby and I would protect it with my life. I've already made one (1) tote bag with it and I love it.... it's sharks! A picture will be provided somewhere on here ^-^! I love my shark tote (shote).
And... much to the bemusement of everyone around me... I have started Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. I started it a while back actually, but I am currently almost finished with Part 3. It is so fun. I am having so much fun. I genuinely just really love and enjoy the series it is something that I've been finding really easy to read and it's also VERY fun to livetweet (everyone say thank you to my good friend Alex [links back to her website] for sitting through my livetweeting of the fucking manga to her. Long story short though, I am having a BLAST. It is so fun. I recommend it to everyone ever. Well like. Mostly. It certainly has it's issues, but for now I'm just having fun. And for anyone curious so far Magician's Red is my favorite stand. And my favorite characters are Kars and Joseph I believe.
This semester of college is realy busy for me, so unfortunately expect blog updates to be a little slow. Hopefully I'll have a little bit of free time I can dedicate to this page though, so while updates may be slow, know my dedication to having a fun and enriching website remains! Happy new year everyone!